TO CLEAN OR NOT TO CLEAN

Not to clean ... always my answer. Or, usually my answer. Either way, I'm not very proactive about cleaning. You know when I do clean? When a cleaning person is coming over. (can you still say cleaning lady? maid?)

My obsession with deals has already been blogged about ... but remember that deal I made with myself? (drinking game - how many times can I use the word deal?) I can buy them if they are related to me becoming a domestic type gal. This one is a toss up for me because it's kind of a cop out ...

CLEANING SERVICE DEAL!

Cop out devil on my shoulder says: that's not fair. You're flunking the cleaning test because someone else is cleaning for you. You should be learning to find the joy in cleaning.

Cop out angel says: You're still finding the joy of cooking, so go ahead and splurge. Plus, it's proactive to schedule help when you can't do it all. I feel like that's something that my mom would say, and I consider he advice to be sound.

Deal breaker: BF and I decided that if we don't indulge in cleaning help, we'll never make it. It's the only thing we fight about. Once a week. On repeat. So there it is ... TO CLEAN! (with help)

DIRTY DISHES

There's no photo accompanying this post because it's disgusting.

In my sink there is about three meals worth of dishes. The only thing making me feel okay about this is the fact that we don't eat meat so there's nothing rotting in the there. But still ... yuck. I actually usually like doing dishes ... but something in me last night wanted to stage a silent protest against my stupid no-dishwasher apartment.

So instead, to take my mind off of the fact that I was being horribly lazy I did the following:
- watched the last episode of Glee. Chris Colfer as Kurt is my current favorite thing. I don't love the show the way that I whole heartedly loved Dawson's ... but I do love Kurt. He makes me feel like high school and happiness.
- cuddled in my new $100 blanket. Yes, I bought an 100 dollar blanket. You know, because I'm trying to be all house wifey and make my home cozy ... so it's allowed. BF tried to cover his anger but he was quietly seething about my purchase ... until he got lost under the soft wonderfulness of the fake fur. And until Jazz claimed it as her new favorite place to bury. Apparently anything dog loves is an okay purchase. Cute comes with a price.

Okay, that's really all I did. Now I'm depressed at my lack of ability to get shit done. I have an apartment to pack, dishes to wash and a thousand things to write ... and all I can do is cuddle and hope that this new kid is going to kiss Kurt.

CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS?

Isn't there some weirdo phrase like that? If that's true then maybe I should be an atheist.

Update on GOAL #2: Apartment has been clean for 2 days! I realize the fact that this has an ! after it is pathetic. I have a serious problem putting things away. I don't know why ... I've really thought long and hard about my childhood and what would make me this way. The only thing I can come up with (and believe me, I use this as an excuse all the time) is that I never ever had my own room ... so now that I'm a big bad grownup and have my own place, I will damn well messy it up. And no one will tell me to clean up!

Except that I'm now taking major steps to fix my brain and all its issues ... so this will no longer be an acceptable excuse. Bye, bye traumatic room-sharing memories of my sisters reading my diary and my brothers waking me up with Nerf guns pointed at my head.

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

A site that has therapy for people like me!! 20 cures in 20 days ... hmmmmm. We shall see if I can follow through. I mean, I've always wanted to go to therapy.

http://cure.apartmenttherapy.com/2010/fall

GOAL #2

A couple years ago I had too much beer weight on and I downloaded some weird motivational thing to listen to while trying to shed the fun off. Being a fairly middle of the road american female, Oprah had something to do with it.

This is what I remember: Oprah's voice telling me to strip down naked and look at myself in the mirror. "Really look. Take in the fat. Be honest with yourself." (something to that effect) I think the point was that once naked, its all out there - you're fat.

I'm not fat. But I am messy. I am to messy what obese is to fat ... ? I will not be standing naked in front of my mirror today ... mostly because I can't get close enough. Too many clothes on the floor. Instead I will be posting a photo of my coffee table in all its glory.

GOAL #2 - CLEAN UP MY LIFE (in the organizational, clean home way)